Desperado
by dutchtulips
Summary: after anakin's turning, amidala tries to hide her grief, but there's one person she can't fool....obi-wan. (based on the song "desperado" by the eagles, but not a songfic))


Desperado

by ~queen of hearts~

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: the man in flannel owns everything (love ya george) i just have fun. 

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Desperado

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by ~queen of hearts~

~*~

As Obi-Wan Kenobi approached the door to Amidala's room and raised his fist to knock, he knew something was wrong. But before he could knock, a loud sob escaped the room.

A sudden feeling of grief washed over him when Obi-Wan heard Amidala's weep. He stared down at the floor for a moment, then, finally, knocked.

"Who is it?" Amidala's choked voice called out.

"Obi-Wan."

He heard a lot of shuffling and wondered what was going on. The door was slightly ajar so Obi-Wan peeked in. Amidala was quickly trying to make an effort to cure her room of it's disarray. She tossed a bunch of tissues in the bin and straightened the bedclothes. Then she checked her appearance in the mirror over her vanity table.

"Oh, damn," Amidala muttered when she saw her tears had made long streaks in her white makeup.

Obi-Wan pushed the door open and stepped inside. Amidala jumped as he entered. She quickly grabbed the canister which contained her white face makeup and jerked it open.

"Oh, hi, Obi-Wan," Amidala said, turning around to face him. She hurriedly dipped a dry sponge into the canister and wiped it about her face. "I was, just, um, doing my makeup."

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows at her but said nothing. He sat down in a chair next to her vanity table and looked up at Amidala.

"Why do you bother?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know what you mean," she replied innocently, slamming the canister lid closed.

Obi-Wan sighed and got up from his chair. "Okay. I'll see you later."

As he left, Amidala bit her lip with sadness. Finally, she fell down on her bed and buried her face in a pillow.

~*~

Obi-Wan wasn't going to let this go. Amidala had been doing this for days. Weeks. Why was she trying to act so strong in front of him?

He knew she was hurting. Anakin was gone- - - gone from all their lives. Obi-Wan knew she needed a hand to hold. He did, too. Why wouldn't she let him?

That was when Obi-Wan decided. Enough was enough. He wasn't going to let Amidala run away from him again.

~*~

Some time later, nighttime was falling upon Theed, and Obi-Wan was determined to confront Amidala. 

Slowly he mounted the steps to her room, and then knocked on her door. 

No answer.

He smoothly turned the knob and stepped into the dimly lit room. Obi-Wan immediately sensed Amidala was not there.

"I wonder where she could be..." he muttered to himself, exiting the room and quickly rushed downstairs.

After searching almost every room in the palace, Obi-Wan walked into the kitchen for some water.

The kitchen was almost pitch dark when he entered. Obi-Wan was confused by it until he heard a familiar sob.

"Oh, Anakin," Amidala's voice whispered. "Why did you leave me...why? Why did it have to be this way?" Then the sobs overwhelmed her and she wasn't even speaking coherently anymore.

From the corner where she was sitting, Amidala heard a voice cut out of the darkness.

"I ask _myself_ that all the time."

Suddenly Amidala felt herself bathed in light. She hurriedly scrambled to her knees. 

Obi-Wan stepped up to her. but didn't say anything.

"My earring -" Amidala finally stuttered. "It fell off and I was looking for it."

"In the dark?" Obi-Wan asked skeptically.

"The kitchen was dark when I came in," she replied, rising to her feet.

Obi-Wan titled Amidala's chin upwards and looked into her wet eyes. His voice dropped.

"I _heard_ you, Ami."

She slipped away from him and turned to the door. "You didn't hear anything," and with that, Amidala was gone.

~*~

Amidala lay across her bed, lost in unhappiness. Her eyes no longer held emotion of any kind. Just a blank stare, as if they were searching for something to see. Eyes that had nothing left to look at. Eyes which had seen better days.

"Amidala?" a voice said.

Amidala quickly scrambled to her feet and over to her vanity table. When she looked up in the mirror and saw Obi-Wan, she started fiddling in the vanity's drawers. 

"What's going on?" he asked, stepping up right behind her.

"Nothing, nothing..." Amidala replied, a little too quickly. "Just, uh, tidying up my vanity." She turned her attention to the drawers again.

"Amidala?" Obi-Wan whispered.

She didn't look up.

He put a hand on her shoulder. "It is okay...to be sad."

Amidala froze. She looked up in the mirror and met Obi-Wan's eyes, whose were already boring into hers.

A moment passed and Amidala ripped her gaze away and opened another drawer. When she put her hand inside, a pair of sewing scissors pricked her.

"Damn!" she interjected. The small injury had broken the straw on the camel's back, and all the emotions that she had been holding back for so long finally exploded. She tried to suck in a sob, but then Amidala suddenly just let go.

Obi-Wan, who had still been standing behind her, turned her around in crushing embrace. 

"Everything'll be okay," he soothed, stroking her long, chestnut hair.

"Why, Obi-Wan, why?" Amidala sobbed. "Why did he have to do this?"

And because it was the only thing left to say, "I...I don't know."

After a few moments, Obi-Wan gently grabbed her shoulders to look into her eyes. Although Amidala's face was mess from her tears and makeup, he smiled. 

"Ami...why have you kept on holding back all this time? Why...why couldn't you have run to me?" he asked.

She answered in an odd way, but Obi-Wan understood.

"There's no way to get through this."

"There will be, Ami. Just hold on," he answered.

"Oh, Obi-Wan," Amidala said. "I'm so sorry for all of this."

"Don't apologize," Obi-Wan said. "You did nothing wrong."

"But there's all this heartache and pain -" Amidala started to say, but Obi-Wan stopped her.

"I know there is. But you'll get through it. _We'll_ get through it."

Amidala gave him a watery smile.

"I promise," Obi-Wan replied to her expression.

She looked up at him. "I-" she stuttered. "Thank you. Thank you for being here for me. I don't think I'd be able to go on without you."

"You won't have to," he said, tightening his grip around her.

"...I owe you the world," Amidala whispered.

"No you don't," Obi-Wan replied. "Just say you'll be there. And I'll say I'll be there, too."

Amidala smiled. "I'll be there."

"So will I."

As Obi-Wan felt Amidala's muscles relax and her tension easing, he felt, somewhere inside, that their promise would never end. 

__

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el fin

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End file.
